Cunno
by Dame Fortune
Summary: [One shot.][One sided Tikku.] Rikku's got feelings for someone she shouldn't. She can't tell anyone though. For Yuna's sake.


One sided Tikku. Kinda sad, I guess. =D Ah, well, you'll get over it. Lol, Rikku's P.O.V.****

Cunno

I know how everyone sees me. It's who I am, and I'm proud to say that people like to be around perky, optimistic, confident me. I'm young, a tad naïve, and just a little bit over-caffeienated most days, but does that only adds to the façade. 

I remember when we were on our journey, in Guadosalam, and I talked with Lulu. I thought she was just the coolest. And she is, she's great! But, I wanted to be so much like her! She's cool, confident, collected. Nothing seems to faze her, she never seems to be sorry for what she does and people always listen when she speaks. Most people ignore me.

"You're too young!" They say. But, Tidus, you convinced me to stay the way I am. And I'm so glad you did! I love being me! I don't think I could have kept up the Lulu thing for very long. For one thing, all that make-up would weigh down my face! And for another, well…let's just say her….personality keeps that dress up and mine wouldn't.

__

Tidus…I miss you. I don't even know where you are. Are you dead? Are you alive, but alone? I know you love Yunie and I know that she loves you, I would never stand in the way of that. Yunie deserves to be happy and so do you.

People look at me and they see a bubbly blonde Al Bhed. Lots of people dismiss me because I'm young, and I'm willing to accept that. Maybe I don't always think things through, but I try, don't I? That's got to count for something, right? 

Some distrust me because of my heritage and that's too bad. Not all Al Bhed are wicked and there's nothing wrong with Machina! Sure, some are bad, but every race has their share of mean people and I'm not one of them. But, people have grown up believing we are the enemy, well, at least everyone used to think we were the enemy. Old habits die hard, as the saying goes, and a lot of people still won't meet my eyes. My nifty eyes. The eyes that tell everyone who I am. They're so cool. Swirly…

The point is, the Al Bhed were-and still are, occasionally- scorned for using Machina when it was said that Machina was the reason for Sin. Hah! I seriously doubt that. I don't know what our ancestors did, but the Machina wasn't the cause. Or maybe it was and I'm blinded from what I was raised to believe. After all, everyone else was blinded to what the Al Bhed were really like.

But, Yunie finally beat Sin, and she didn't have to die for it! That makes me so mad! Why should someone have to die to eradicate Sin? And then he just comes back anyway! After a few years of The Calm, but he still comes back. At least, though, this time, he won't. He's gone for good. The Eternal Calm, I love it! I'm not sorry I was there to be a part of ending it all! 

I know everyone was angry with us for kidnapping summoners. I'm young, not stupid. I'm not sorry I did it. In similar circumstances, I can honestly say, I'd do it again. But I honestly used to believe that there was a way to defeat Sin without anyone having to die. Turns out, Yunie didn't have to die, but I _know _we could have come up with a solution with the Machina. I know it.

When I tell anyone this, they just laugh and nod. They don't really believe me and it hurts, a little. I may be perky, but I still have feelings, y'know?

__

Y'know? Ugh! Too much time listening to Wakka talk, I think.

Well, Yunie didn't have to die and I'm glad. I love her. She's my cousin after all. But what happened to you, Tidus? You threw yourself over the ledge after swearing you loved Yuna. I thought my heart was going to shatter right there onto the Airship's roof into a million pieces.

I doubt anyone noticed; they were all too busy saying good-bye. I hope no one noticed. They probably would have said something by now, right? It's only been four days, but they would have said something. 

From the minute we found you in those ruins, I felt this weird little jolt. This funny little feeling in my stomach. Like butterflies, cliché as it is. At first, I can't say that I cared for it too much, but then it didn't bother me so much.

When you fell off the ship, I though you were dead forever, but when I saw you again at the Moonflow, I wasn't sure if I wanted to hug you or beat you up for being mean and attacking me when I had Yunie. Although, it's understandable, seeing as I kidnapped her and all but really, it was for a good cause.

As our journey's end came closer and closer into view, I began to become terrified. I didn't know what was going to happen to you. I knew that you liked me, as a friend of course, despite my wanting it to be more and I didn't' want to lose that by admitting that I loved you.

Y'know _(Damn you, Wakka! You're messing with my head now, too!)_ that night after we got Yuna away from Seymour's wedding thing and you guys were in the water? I was there. Even Kimarhi didn't see me. I told the others I was going out for firewood, which by the way, I forgot to grab after I saw you two!, and I planned on coming and finding you before you got to Yuna and tell you that I loved you, but I saw you two kissing and that was the first time I felt my heart ache.

I don't like admitting it. I'm Rikku, the cute-as-a-button thief who doesn't develop those kind of feelings and I don't like that vulnerable feeling. Why, Tidus? Ow could you do that me? I had screamed and raged inside, but outwardly, I had pulled one of the best Lulu's I'm sure anyone would have ever seen. I didn't tremble, I didn't cry, I didn't utter a single sound. I turned on my heel and went back to camp.

Auron hassled me about the firewood and I had to go back out for some. You guys were on the bank then, and I don't think I've ever felt more jealous of anyone ever before than I was of my cousin that night. Oh, did she know how lucky she was? I hoped so.

I was back at camp when I realized you two were planning on going back right away. I blocked out the memory as best I could it still haunts me to know that you love her and could never love me.

I remember the first time I met you. In those ruins. I felt really bad about punching you, especially since you didn't understand me when I said I was sorry.

__

Cunno. 

E's cunno vun suna dryh zicd dryd. E's cunno dryd E hajan dumt oui dryd E lynat, ajah druikr E ghuf E luimt'ja hajan paah hayn oui yvdan dryd. E's cunno dryd oui ryt du cylnevela ouincamv vun ic. E's cunno dryd oui lyh'd pa rana, rybbo, fedr Yunie, ajah ev ed sayhc ic uhmo paehk vneahtc.

_E's hud cunno vun y mud uv drehkc, pid E ys cunno dryd E hajan dumt oui ruf E vamd.*_

The End.

****

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Well, that's it. Short, I know, but leave me alone about it. What didj'all think? Please, review and let me know! I appreciate it!

Here's what Rikku was thinkin':

*_Sorry. _

I'm sorry for more than just that. I'm sorry that I never told you that I cared, even though I know I could've never been near you after that. I'm sorry that you had to sacrifice yourself for us. I'm sorry that you can't be here, happy, with Yunie, even if it means us only being friends.

I'm not sorry for a lot of things, but I am sorry that I never told you how I felt.

I dun remember if names stayed the same in Al Bhed or not so I just left it. Some one let me know for future reference, please?? _Merci beaucoup_!


End file.
